Lantern Fest 2017

Last year, I took the kids to the Lantern Fest for the first time.  I really didn't know what to expect.  I thought that everyone would gather there, light some lanterns and then we would go home.  I didn't know what we were going to do between the hours of 1pm and 7pm, the time between it opens and when the lanterns are lit.  We went and I was surprised.  There was free face painting, free bounce houses, a fun scavenger hunt to win a prize (for the first 100 people that completed the hunt), vendor stands, a booth to decorate the lanterns, s'mores for everyone, fire pits for each group of people, games for the kids to participate in such as hula hoops contests, egg tosses, chug a kool aid, and tiki torches throughout the fairgrounds.  There was also a concert given by a small artist that is very lively and fun to dance to (for those brave enough to dance).  After the lanterns were lit and found their way beyond our vision, the fire dancers came out and put on their performance.  It was truly fantastic!

When I started seeing the Facebook posts this year, I knew that we needed to go again.  I purchased the tickets in advance to get a discount and this year I talked my mom into bringing my stepdad and little sisters.  I was also going to be more prepared by bringing chairs, blankets, jackets, and anything else that we could fit into our convenient little wagon that would add to the experience.  The kids were not told a thing until we were on our way to the event. 

We got everything packed, the kids still didn't know what we were doing, they had ideas, but no one had guessed it.  (I felt pretty accomplished for keep this a secret.)  We were headed to pick up the oldest daughter from a softball tournament and then be on our way.  Twelve kids and myself, to brave the crowds of an expected 8,000 people.  I told the kids where we were going and they all cheered! 

When we got there the security was a little tighter compared to before.  They were going through bags.  No big deal.  We were only given four lanterns for the adult tickets versus a lantern for everyone like the year before.  I don't know if we got lucky the year before or if the rules just changed.  But I was able to go over to another table to buy more lanterns to make sure that everyone had one.

We found our spot...little secret, try facing with your backs to the west so that the setting sun isn't blasting you.  We spread out our stuff and I buddied up the kids.  The kids went and got their faces painted, and then played the corn hole toss, jumped on the bounce houses, and the older kids went to find souvenirs to spend money on.  The plan was to also eat dinner there so we scoped out the vendor trolleys to see what would be the best fit for our family.  (We then decided if we were going to spend that much money on food, that we would rather something else.  So, we waited and went to Golden Corral afterwards, same price, more variety!)

The games were played and the prizes were extra lanterns to be able to send up when the time came.  I think we accumulated 6-8 extra lanterns since the kids participated in nearly every challenge.  The big winners got T-Shirts and blankets, but we were not the big winners this year.  Maybe next year!

We listened to the free concert and some of us danced and we had a really fun time.  Some of the kids were decorating their lanterns with the markers that were provided in our boxes.  I think the most remarkable part was even though there were a LOT of people there, it was like our very own little party.  We didn't have to mingle with others if we didn't want to.  We were not crowded or boxed in.  We had room to do what we wanted and we were not in anyone else's way.  It was fabulous.

They sent off the test lantern for the fire department to give their approval.  The one lonely lantern testing the wind direction and making sure that it would be safe for all of the others to follow.  The approval was given a few minutes later and in a moment, all of the people that were at the stage dancing were now scattered to their fire pit areas getting ready to light up the lanterns.

Here where everything goes into a blur for me.  Twelve kids, twelve lanterns, three of us to work the lighters, the kids wanting theirs to go up next.  PLUS!  I want pictures.  The camera is passed off to a kid that gets their picture taken with the lantern and then they are supposed to take pics of the other kids.  That didn't happen.  Instead, I have a lot of pictures of the launch, and I am okay with that too, because it is GOR-GE-OUS.

In this moment.  This small window of time.  I can feel the memory being created.  It makes me tear up thinking about it now.  I can feel a little bit slip away as this fantastic memory is happening.  They are growing up.  We have these windows of opportunity to seed plant, to create, to influence, to watch what they learn, and to enjoy them at this stage.  This moment I realize, it's amazing, and just how we light these lanterns and make a special wish, I am making these wishes for my kids and then one day all of this time that I spent decorating and caring for them, I will "light" them like these lanterns and pray that the wind takes them on journeys that they enjoy.  I see that I have this window to instill in them that their happiness and joy comes from within regardless of what is happening in the world.  Relationships with others are what is important, even when it isn't easy.  Making wonderful memories is better than almost anything.  This for me is what the Lantern Fest is about, the reminder of this moment.

I don't know if this is the same for the others that are there.  I also wonder how many other memories are these reminders and if I am missing them from being caught up in life.  I know I need to slow down.  I want to be able to see the "Lantern Fest" moment in other ways on other days.  However, I am living this hectic life keeping house, homeschooling, mowing the lawn, doing the mountains of laundry, and whatever else pops up.  However, I caught THIS moment.  I will take it!

Home Blessings!

A chore by any other name...just might get done!

I am a person that does well with to-do lists, memos written to myself, apps that organize my day, and journals with a lot of ideas and thoughts.  Visual.  I am very visual.  My DH is audible, he functions better from conversations and is learning the importance of visual things for me.  This creates two very different parenting styles.  My DH believes the kids should do what they are told, and while I agree, I believe they also need to be shown.

This has presented it's own issues, however, it has had it's biggest impression on having a solid chore routine for the kids.  The kids were told the chores they needed to do, and would constantly forget or conveniently forget and then we just had a list of chores undone and a lot of kids grounded.  This wasn't good for the kids, our marriage, the entire house.  This disagreement in one area gave birth to a lot of problems in other areas as well.  There was a lot of contention.

I started coming up with chore charts. These didn't work for many reasons. First, I was the only parent enforcing them.  Second, I didn't have time for the accountability piece to check if the chores were completed. Third, if Dad needed something the kids were dropping their chores completely under Dad's direction because he wasn't understanding that they were doing chores.  This was difficult!

Next, token charts were used.  However, this had the same problem.  I didn't have time for the follow through to see if they had done their chores.  I also lacked a measurable way of keeping their points or tokens straight, so basically, they earned nothing and eventually saw that their deeds were fruitless.  It didn't work.

I then created a jar system. Choose a chore from the jar and do it.  Get a few chores done and choose from the praise jar.  You would think this would work.  However, I had too many differently aged and skilled kids to be able to do this without having three sets of jars.  Some of the praise jar items included, "Coloring with Mom," nice idea, but the ability for the time wasn't there.  Good intentions don't get things done, and although I had the best of intentions, doing individual things with the kids as they drew them out of the praise jar didn't always work with the schedule.  I owed a LOT of praise time and rewards that I was never going to be able to get to. 

Now, here we are.  My DH is at our ranch managing animals and work while I have 12 of the kids home on my own.  Chores need to be done and I am not able to have the time, or energy to do these all on my own and still be expected to parent.  Back to the drawing board!

Over the past two years we have tried assigned chores with no visual helps.  Since every kid was assigned their chore, taught how to do it, and given a time to do it, it was the most successful routine up until that time.  However, the kids started complaining that doing the same chore over and over was boring.  They needed a change.  Fair enough.

I then thought, "We can change up the chores if we have a system to follow them."  The chore pallets were created.

These pallets were hard work to create. The kids had their own note cards that I could write them messages, and they could write me.  I could switch out chores on the keyrings and in theory, this was a good idea.  The kids started losing the baskets for their pencils, they were all over the house.  The keyrings were found throughout the house as well. The kids would think since they lost the keyring they wouldn't be accountable for the chores on it.  "I can't do my chores, I don't know where they are."  I really believed that this one was going to work, but I didn't foresee the issues that came with this setup.

I went back into research mode.  I have learned over the years that I do research well.  Rather, I search until I find answers because I really like answers.  Researching became a way to find the answers.  My DH was surprised to find out that I actually dislike doing research because I appear to be researching a lot.  It's not about the research, especially the process, it is about having the answers.  Off I went on the great chore system hunt once again.

I have a lot of Pinterest pins on the topic.  I have read blog after blog from moms with many kiddos.  However, one podcast that I listened to intrigued me.  From Raising Arrows the mom called their chores, "Home Blessing Chores."  I thought immediately, "I have been coming at this all wrong!"  It was the biggest epiphany on this journey to date.

Instead of assigning the kids chores, I was going to create a system in which they are able to participate to bless our home!  Our home provides us shelter, keeps us from the not so frequent rain and the never ending hot sun, it keeps our belongings safe from burglars, and most importantly we can grow in love within these walls of our home.  We need to come together and take care of this home, this wonderful home.

Now that I had a new foundation for this my brain went to work.  It needed to be visual.  It needed to be stationary.  It needed to be flexible.  It needed to cover the kids at all different ability levels.  It needed...a LOT.

I thought it would be best if I had laminated cards that were on a metal board so I could use magnets on them to rotate the jobs and move them easily.  I knew that there are some daily chores and weekly chores, so I would need to be able to have more than one section for the chores.  Also, I knew that my overzealous littles were going to pick harder chores and therefore, a buddy assignment would be necessary to help with some of them.  (An opportunity to work together!)  I made sure that some of the chores were assigned as buddy chores and that the chores were all assigned a point system.  The simple chores are one point and the harder chores are two points.  OH GOODNESS! 

I started laminating their names, their buddy names, writing chore cards, asking for kid input on the cards, and really trying to get their buy in.  If they had a emotional connection, this might just work.  My older kids helped the younger kids run the cards through the laminator, and then the little kids were able to attach the magnetic tape to the backs of the cards.  It was coming together.

I then went on Offer Up! daily to try and find what I wanted for a metal board.  I came across three identical metal boards for only $15, that my DH has informed me are actually shelves.  Who cares, they work for what I want.  SCORE!

The left board is for the "Home Blessings" that they choose.  The middle board is designated for the Home Blessing choices.  The right board is for the Home Blessings that have been accomplished.  The small pink tags by each name on the left board are the names of their buddies.  The kids add up their points and for right now, they are happy with that reward.  My 10yo was excited to be able to say, "Today I have 7 points!"  There wasn't a question about what the points earn, they are just happy about blessing our home.

We have used this system for a few weeks now and I am amazed!  The kids say, "Let's take care of our home!"  WHAT?  They are excited.  Everyone can see who has which Home Blessing and they remind each other.  When they ask to watch a documentary, I say, "Have we blessed our home?"  The kids are better able to see what needs to be done rather than me having to point everything out.  I am no longer nagging, or feeling like I am nagging all of the time.

Time...this has given me the blessing of TIME!  I would get ready for bed and then walk around the house and do two hours of work that the kids were assigned to do, or perfectly capable of doing.  It made for late bedtimes and a frustrated mom.  The other night, I walked through my very clean home and cleaned the window sills and vacuumed the valences.  Hold up.  Yes, I am able to have time to do extras that have basically, never been done. (Don't judge.)  Seven years of dust are gone from the valences!  My personal lists that I have are having an opportunity to grow and things I never had time for, I am beginning to have time for...this blog post for instance!

So, as I am typing this, my 8yo comes in this morning, she smiles and says, "Good morning, Mommy."  Then without any prompting walks over and starts picking out Home Blessings.  My 7yo then comes in and starts picking out hers.  Just now my 5yo came in, her first words, "Mom, someone stole my cleaning the pool and my sweepin' and moppin'!"  (Since I clean the pool, the kids buddy with me - it's a prime commodity!)  Folks, I think we have a winner!

Starting to Blog Again

I can't believe all that can happen in a span of five years. I think I am going to start writing from our current setting and then fill in the information missing with some flashback posts just to catch up.

Currently, I am back in the city with the kids, while DH is at our ranch taking care of animals and working at local jobs in the area. The split is a challenge, but definitely building us stronger as we learn to increase communication skills and appreciate time together in a whole new way.

Last year, I homeschooled four of the kids. It was challenging with the timing of events because each time we had a field trip of some sort we would have to race back for the public school kids to get home. It cut our fun down significantly. This year, I decided to just go for it and homeschool the kids 10th grade and down. I have 10 that I am homeschooling this year. It's never a dull moment.

I feel like the biggest dilemma is finding some quiet time for me.  I am an introvert. I truly need quiet time, and more importantly alone time....which is now non-existent!  I knew it was going to be busy, but there's something I didn't take into account.  The kids had teachers, aides, peers, and a lot of other people in their lives to share their stories with as well as share our life events.  Now they do not. Now I hear the same story 8 times a day.  There are days that I wake up ready to hear five kids talk all at the same time and then there are the other days.  The days where my closet looks really comfortable, it's beautifully cool and quiet, I could bring snacks, a pillow, my latest Karen Kingsbury novel and really enjoy myself...for at least two minutes, until they find me!

Self-care is this area of mom guilt. Taking time for myself is also meaning that I am taking time from my kids. My wonderful kids that I cherish and love and need a break from all at the same time.  I understand the concept of being well-charged and rested makes me a better a mom all the way around. I know I need a good night's rest and sleeping from 1-5am doesn't qualify.  I'm working on little remedies for this situation, but it's a trial and error process.

My youngest go to bed at 7pm. I know it's early, but it's needed. My oldest are in bed by 8:30pm on an ideal night.  This gives me an hour and a half to do the chores that the kids skipped, forgot, or ignored as well as be on the phone with the DH to download our days. There are days that the communication is just too much. Days that I say, "That's nice, do you have anything else to share?  If you don't, I need quiet."  In the beginning, the DH took offense to this. Now, he knows and respects that it has nothing to do with a lack of interest but rather an entire overload of my day and I need to decompress.  I am so grateful that he's learned this about me and can love me through being overwhelmed.

I feel like doing some blogging, although it is adding another part to my day, is going to add an outlet for me to just be myself.  With the kids, I know my words are always calculated and weighed out with the way I speak as to be encouraging and uplifting to the best of my ability. (I will be honest, I sometimes need to take a deep breath before responding because my initial reaction isn't always encouraging. I am human after all.)  It takes more effort to think before speaking, but I can't expect the kids to learn this if I can't do this myself.  Having something for me. That's what this is. Something that isn't stolen with sneaky little fingers reaching for a piece of food, or little feet in my closet searching for dress up shoes. Something for me.

I actually lost the password to the blog and forgot about it. When it showed up in my Facebook feed in past memories today, I decided to try again. So, here we go!

Who's got this (sometimes)?
This Momma! ;)