Home Blessings!

A chore by any other name...just might get done!

I am a person that does well with to-do lists, memos written to myself, apps that organize my day, and journals with a lot of ideas and thoughts.  Visual.  I am very visual.  My DH is audible, he functions better from conversations and is learning the importance of visual things for me.  This creates two very different parenting styles.  My DH believes the kids should do what they are told, and while I agree, I believe they also need to be shown.

This has presented it's own issues, however, it has had it's biggest impression on having a solid chore routine for the kids.  The kids were told the chores they needed to do, and would constantly forget or conveniently forget and then we just had a list of chores undone and a lot of kids grounded.  This wasn't good for the kids, our marriage, the entire house.  This disagreement in one area gave birth to a lot of problems in other areas as well.  There was a lot of contention.

I started coming up with chore charts. These didn't work for many reasons. First, I was the only parent enforcing them.  Second, I didn't have time for the accountability piece to check if the chores were completed. Third, if Dad needed something the kids were dropping their chores completely under Dad's direction because he wasn't understanding that they were doing chores.  This was difficult!

Next, token charts were used.  However, this had the same problem.  I didn't have time for the follow through to see if they had done their chores.  I also lacked a measurable way of keeping their points or tokens straight, so basically, they earned nothing and eventually saw that their deeds were fruitless.  It didn't work.

I then created a jar system. Choose a chore from the jar and do it.  Get a few chores done and choose from the praise jar.  You would think this would work.  However, I had too many differently aged and skilled kids to be able to do this without having three sets of jars.  Some of the praise jar items included, "Coloring with Mom," nice idea, but the ability for the time wasn't there.  Good intentions don't get things done, and although I had the best of intentions, doing individual things with the kids as they drew them out of the praise jar didn't always work with the schedule.  I owed a LOT of praise time and rewards that I was never going to be able to get to. 

Now, here we are.  My DH is at our ranch managing animals and work while I have 12 of the kids home on my own.  Chores need to be done and I am not able to have the time, or energy to do these all on my own and still be expected to parent.  Back to the drawing board!

Over the past two years we have tried assigned chores with no visual helps.  Since every kid was assigned their chore, taught how to do it, and given a time to do it, it was the most successful routine up until that time.  However, the kids started complaining that doing the same chore over and over was boring.  They needed a change.  Fair enough.

I then thought, "We can change up the chores if we have a system to follow them."  The chore pallets were created.

These pallets were hard work to create. The kids had their own note cards that I could write them messages, and they could write me.  I could switch out chores on the keyrings and in theory, this was a good idea.  The kids started losing the baskets for their pencils, they were all over the house.  The keyrings were found throughout the house as well. The kids would think since they lost the keyring they wouldn't be accountable for the chores on it.  "I can't do my chores, I don't know where they are."  I really believed that this one was going to work, but I didn't foresee the issues that came with this setup.

I went back into research mode.  I have learned over the years that I do research well.  Rather, I search until I find answers because I really like answers.  Researching became a way to find the answers.  My DH was surprised to find out that I actually dislike doing research because I appear to be researching a lot.  It's not about the research, especially the process, it is about having the answers.  Off I went on the great chore system hunt once again.

I have a lot of Pinterest pins on the topic.  I have read blog after blog from moms with many kiddos.  However, one podcast that I listened to intrigued me.  From Raising Arrows the mom called their chores, "Home Blessing Chores."  I thought immediately, "I have been coming at this all wrong!"  It was the biggest epiphany on this journey to date.

Instead of assigning the kids chores, I was going to create a system in which they are able to participate to bless our home!  Our home provides us shelter, keeps us from the not so frequent rain and the never ending hot sun, it keeps our belongings safe from burglars, and most importantly we can grow in love within these walls of our home.  We need to come together and take care of this home, this wonderful home.

Now that I had a new foundation for this my brain went to work.  It needed to be visual.  It needed to be stationary.  It needed to be flexible.  It needed to cover the kids at all different ability levels.  It needed...a LOT.

I thought it would be best if I had laminated cards that were on a metal board so I could use magnets on them to rotate the jobs and move them easily.  I knew that there are some daily chores and weekly chores, so I would need to be able to have more than one section for the chores.  Also, I knew that my overzealous littles were going to pick harder chores and therefore, a buddy assignment would be necessary to help with some of them.  (An opportunity to work together!)  I made sure that some of the chores were assigned as buddy chores and that the chores were all assigned a point system.  The simple chores are one point and the harder chores are two points.  OH GOODNESS! 

I started laminating their names, their buddy names, writing chore cards, asking for kid input on the cards, and really trying to get their buy in.  If they had a emotional connection, this might just work.  My older kids helped the younger kids run the cards through the laminator, and then the little kids were able to attach the magnetic tape to the backs of the cards.  It was coming together.

I then went on Offer Up! daily to try and find what I wanted for a metal board.  I came across three identical metal boards for only $15, that my DH has informed me are actually shelves.  Who cares, they work for what I want.  SCORE!

The left board is for the "Home Blessings" that they choose.  The middle board is designated for the Home Blessing choices.  The right board is for the Home Blessings that have been accomplished.  The small pink tags by each name on the left board are the names of their buddies.  The kids add up their points and for right now, they are happy with that reward.  My 10yo was excited to be able to say, "Today I have 7 points!"  There wasn't a question about what the points earn, they are just happy about blessing our home.

We have used this system for a few weeks now and I am amazed!  The kids say, "Let's take care of our home!"  WHAT?  They are excited.  Everyone can see who has which Home Blessing and they remind each other.  When they ask to watch a documentary, I say, "Have we blessed our home?"  The kids are better able to see what needs to be done rather than me having to point everything out.  I am no longer nagging, or feeling like I am nagging all of the time.

Time...this has given me the blessing of TIME!  I would get ready for bed and then walk around the house and do two hours of work that the kids were assigned to do, or perfectly capable of doing.  It made for late bedtimes and a frustrated mom.  The other night, I walked through my very clean home and cleaned the window sills and vacuumed the valences.  Hold up.  Yes, I am able to have time to do extras that have basically, never been done. (Don't judge.)  Seven years of dust are gone from the valences!  My personal lists that I have are having an opportunity to grow and things I never had time for, I am beginning to have time for...this blog post for instance!

So, as I am typing this, my 8yo comes in this morning, she smiles and says, "Good morning, Mommy."  Then without any prompting walks over and starts picking out Home Blessings.  My 7yo then comes in and starts picking out hers.  Just now my 5yo came in, her first words, "Mom, someone stole my cleaning the pool and my sweepin' and moppin'!"  (Since I clean the pool, the kids buddy with me - it's a prime commodity!)  Folks, I think we have a winner!

Starting to Blog Again

I can't believe all that can happen in a span of five years. I think I am going to start writing from our current setting and then fill in the information missing with some flashback posts just to catch up.

Currently, I am back in the city with the kids, while DH is at our ranch taking care of animals and working at local jobs in the area. The split is a challenge, but definitely building us stronger as we learn to increase communication skills and appreciate time together in a whole new way.

Last year, I homeschooled four of the kids. It was challenging with the timing of events because each time we had a field trip of some sort we would have to race back for the public school kids to get home. It cut our fun down significantly. This year, I decided to just go for it and homeschool the kids 10th grade and down. I have 10 that I am homeschooling this year. It's never a dull moment.

I feel like the biggest dilemma is finding some quiet time for me.  I am an introvert. I truly need quiet time, and more importantly alone time....which is now non-existent!  I knew it was going to be busy, but there's something I didn't take into account.  The kids had teachers, aides, peers, and a lot of other people in their lives to share their stories with as well as share our life events.  Now they do not. Now I hear the same story 8 times a day.  There are days that I wake up ready to hear five kids talk all at the same time and then there are the other days.  The days where my closet looks really comfortable, it's beautifully cool and quiet, I could bring snacks, a pillow, my latest Karen Kingsbury novel and really enjoy myself...for at least two minutes, until they find me!

Self-care is this area of mom guilt. Taking time for myself is also meaning that I am taking time from my kids. My wonderful kids that I cherish and love and need a break from all at the same time.  I understand the concept of being well-charged and rested makes me a better a mom all the way around. I know I need a good night's rest and sleeping from 1-5am doesn't qualify.  I'm working on little remedies for this situation, but it's a trial and error process.

My youngest go to bed at 7pm. I know it's early, but it's needed. My oldest are in bed by 8:30pm on an ideal night.  This gives me an hour and a half to do the chores that the kids skipped, forgot, or ignored as well as be on the phone with the DH to download our days. There are days that the communication is just too much. Days that I say, "That's nice, do you have anything else to share?  If you don't, I need quiet."  In the beginning, the DH took offense to this. Now, he knows and respects that it has nothing to do with a lack of interest but rather an entire overload of my day and I need to decompress.  I am so grateful that he's learned this about me and can love me through being overwhelmed.

I feel like doing some blogging, although it is adding another part to my day, is going to add an outlet for me to just be myself.  With the kids, I know my words are always calculated and weighed out with the way I speak as to be encouraging and uplifting to the best of my ability. (I will be honest, I sometimes need to take a deep breath before responding because my initial reaction isn't always encouraging. I am human after all.)  It takes more effort to think before speaking, but I can't expect the kids to learn this if I can't do this myself.  Having something for me. That's what this is. Something that isn't stolen with sneaky little fingers reaching for a piece of food, or little feet in my closet searching for dress up shoes. Something for me.

I actually lost the password to the blog and forgot about it. When it showed up in my Facebook feed in past memories today, I decided to try again. So, here we go!

Who's got this (sometimes)?
This Momma! ;)

Directionally Challenged

A Story from the Ranch:
It was a gorgeous cloudy day and it had been raining off and on for a few days.  The three Littles had been driving me crazy for the last few hours and so I decided to take them out on a quad ride while it was somewhat sunny.

We loaded up on the quad and off we went down the usual trail.  I thought, "Maybe today we will venture out a little further."  So, we did.  We went over this wash back a forth going a further and further out.  I noticed that the clouds were accumulating but it was still gorgeous.  We went a little further, which was the furthest I had gone.  We found a clearing and I thought that this would be a good place to get off of the quad and chase the girls around a little.

As I went to shut off the quad I heard my cell phone ring...it was the school, always answer calls from the school.  I talked with them for a few minutes, no big deal, and in the process turned off the quad to be able to hear them better.  As we were on the phone it started to lightly sprinkle.  I thought, "As soon as this call is over, we better head back.  So, I get off of the phone and go to start the quad...nothing.  It won't start.  I try again and again, and I can't get it to turn over.  It's raining harder now and the lightning and thunder have accompanied the rain.  I try to use my phone to call my DH for help and it now has rain on it, so the touchscreen won't work!

I start grabbing the kids off of the quad because now it is pouring rain, and we go running through the grass to get under the trees for some cover. The girls are a little nervous, (as am I) but I try to make it be fun. "God must've thought we were really stinky because He is giving us a shower!  We are on an adventure!"

I dry my phone off the best that I can and send my DH a text, "Hide and seek, you're IT!" 
He asks, "Seriously? Where are you?"
I send, "LOL! I'm right here." Of course, that doesn't help him a bit!
He says, "I can't hear your quad, start your quad and I can find you."
I reply, "It won't start. Good luck! We'll just be here waiting."
He answers, "I'll try to find you."

I decide to go and see if I can get this quad going again.  I try and explain to the girls that I am going to try the quad, but all they see is that it is storming and they are soaked, and Mom is leaving.  So, they start screaming and crying.  I try the quad a few more times, and I get it started!! I ride quickly to the babies trying to reassure them that, "Mom is here, and it's okay."  I'm hoping that my DH hears the quad.  Then it dies. The quad quit again.

DH texts, "I heard you, and then you went away?"
I said, "Died again."

He then calls me.  He asks if I can hear his quad.  The next five minutes is a crazy game of "hot and cold" as he tries to find me, while I am just trying to get the sound of his quad closer to me.  It's still raining and the girls are getting cold.  I'm trying to get them excited about the rescue from Dad, "Do you hear him?  He's coming to get us!"

He finds us, and of course, my quad starts right up.  We go drive back to the trailer together, and the whole way he is trying to show me different landmarks and things that would help me find my way.  If I were to take the same path today, I don't know if I could get back. 

I have been lost several more times since then.  It's funny to see my DH run into the trailer to get my cell phone every time I go for a walk or a ride.  He sends texts to check in on me often, sometimes I get lucky and find my way back and other times I get rescued.  We have a handheld GPS that I need to figure out, however, sometimes....being lost is fun.

Perc Test? Solar Ovens? And TIRES!

We have nineteen days until the big move.  We want the kids to start at their new school this year.  We are packing, organizing, getting free boxes off of Craigslist, giving things to Goodwill, and things are just all over the place.  I am also trying to register the kids for school. As I fill out the paperwork...for 10 ten kids...I am realizing that I don't have something that I have always had...AN ADDRESS.  Our land has never been lived on, we have parcel numbers but no address.  That feels weird.

I called the county to see about getting an address assigned.  I thought that it was going to be a simple process.  We have a few neighbors, just look at the map and assign us the next number.  Wouldn't that be lovely? No, it is NOT that easy.  We have to call the county to come out and do a percolation test, followed by a septic specialist to come out for our septic tanks.  After that we have to file an application to build a family residence with a plat map, and then after that is approved then they will supply us with an address.  All of the sudden registering for school is a lot more difficult than it has ever been!

Through this process I have come to the realization that cooking is not going to be as "simple" as it has been. Simple as defined by we have a stove/oven that is electric, we have two large refrigerators as well as a stand alone freezer for food storage.  At the new property we have one smaller refrigerator in the travel trailer and a stove that runs on propane, we also have one very small microwave that has popped the breakers a few times.  I'm nervous about food preparation.  So, I have done some research and I have more to go but we may be investing in a solar over and start dehydrating food for longer keep without having to use the refrigerator.  Some people would really enjoy this process, they enjoy cooking and are energized by the preparation.  I am not one of these people. I cook because if I didn't my family would die, that's the bottom line. It is purely for survival. The Joy of Cooking - I wish they could tell me where to actually find this "joy".  Pray for me to learn to like to cook!! I am going to be very challenged in this area at our new place!

Now we get to tires. Have I mentioned before that tires annoy me? I truly dislike the purchasing of tires. I feel like they are too much money and every vehicle we have requires at least two of them.  With all the vehicles, quads, motorcycles, dump truck, backhoe, etc., we have 70 tires - yes, SEVENTY. That's a lot of tires, and I think they all talk and decide when they are going to fall apart and cause us problems.  Two trips ago a tire went flat on one of the trailers on the way there, and it was not repairable.  Then upon arrival it's discovered that a tire on the backhoe just decided to burst while it was sitting there doing absolutely nothing.  Two new tires this month. YUCK!

Okay, positives.  We are learning. We are learning about solar power, places to buy our special tires, animal fences and corral panels, different trees and foods for the garden that we are going to plant, and the requirements for the county to do all of these things.  It has been interesting to say the least.  Although it's a lot of work and the information is overwhelming at times, it's going to be good once we are there, and the memories we are going to build will be worth it all.

Country Momma

A Couple More Steps

We've taken a few more steps in the direction to our ranch and I wanted to take a few minutes for an update! We have added some horses!

We still have Blu and have been training with him for about six months now.  Blu is in great shape and we have gotten a lot more experiences with horses.  We are truly enjoying being horse owners! We are loving this so much that we have added three more horses!!

Blu is on the left, and Tinkerbell is on the right.  Tinkerbell joined us in May 2013, she is a clydesdale/quarter horse.  Blu and Tink get along wonderfully!  They work in the round pen together, and they are in a turnout together now.  When we take Blu to go work with him Tink is right on his heels. They are best buds!

This is Waffles, our belgian mare.  She was our addition in June 2013.  The day we got her we realized that she wasn't well taken care of at her last home.  She was about six months from foundering and our awesome farrier is going to save her from this.  She has made us earn every bit of trust that she has given to us.  Waffles is out of shape and we are helping her get to a healthier weight and gain her muscle back.  She will be a dream once we are able to rehab where she needs to be.  Waffles is a love and we love having her!

Last, but certainly not least, is our new colt, Roman.  Roman was foaled on March 23, 2013.  This is a special day because it is the anniversary of the adoption for four of our kiddos.  Roman had foliculitis the day after he was born.  We had to give him daily baths which he was not too thrilled with.  He is now weaned and we have a completely different colt.  Roman halters, walks on a lead, ties, and loves to be brushed. He is growing so quickly, but he was so big at birth that he never felt like a "baby" anyway!  Roman is spotted draft/percheron and is expected to be about 17hh. Big guy!

Although I haven't posted in awhile, you can see why! We have been busy adding to our family.  There's a lot of other things that have been going on, but I have babies waking up from naptime, so it will have to wait. :)

Loving This New Life!
Country Momma

Merry Christmas

Since the last update...

We are the proud owners of Blu, a draft cross, half percheron, half quarter horse. He is about 16 hands and has a wonderful disposition.  We have a great trainer working with us so we can learn Blu while Blu also learns us.  I had my first lesson the other day.  The riding part was wonderful, it's the getting on and getting down that proves to be the challenge.  I stood on a mounting block but it still felt very high, I placed my left foot in the stirrup and with a lot of time and hesitation I tried to throw my foot over and decided it wasn't going to work. My trainer said, "This is a big horse, you aren't going to throw your leg over like a cowboy in a movie! Jump to your stomach and then put your leg over."  That was much more doable.  Now, I wasn't graceful, or cute. I was a clumsy, clamoring, definite first timer trying to grab anything I could hold onto to ensure I wouldn't crash to the ground, and I did it! We turned left, and turned right, we stopped, and we walked. And then it was time to get down.  Getting on was easier!  I again just as clumsy attempted to move in ways that I have only seen Gumby move to get off this horse. I went to my belly, but I didn't estimate this right and the horn of the saddle went right into my stomach (ouch!) and then my shirt got completely caught on the horn as I jumped off and flashed anyone who was witnessing my first ride. But when we were done, we had gotten a little closer, and I felt a lot more like the Country Momma that I'm becoming.

We are also the proud FUTURE owners of a new foal that we have purchased in utero.  Another draft horse that in expected to join this world in late March.  Both the parents are absolutely gorgeous and we are excited and anxious all at the same time.  A lot of work and energy comes with caring and training a foal, but we are up for the challenge.  The dam for the foal is 18.1 hands and the sire is 16.2 hands, so the foal is estimated to be around 17 hands, one big horse.  We like the draft horses that have the percheron in them.  Their feet are so big and do not require shoes, less maintenance.  We like that.  We still have to have feet trimmed and shaped but it's not near as expensive as keeping up with horseshoes.  So, the baby is a new exciting addition, expected in March and I can't wait to post pictures!

In the process of getting to the ranch we also have to pack.  Have you ever packed 16 people?  The last time we moved there was only nine of us, and now with 16 it's going to be different!  We are purchasing a semi trailer.  My DH is going to look at one today, and if it's the first of a few that we are going to purchase then I can start packing as soon as it's here.  I am hoping that we get this trailer soon so I can take this packing on in shifts and not feel completely overwhelmed by packing everything in a short period of time.  I am trying to come up with a very detailed list of what is in each trailer and a number system for boxes, things like that to make it easier if we need to find something in a hurry.

The quonset hut is nearly taken down.  Only one day of work left and it will be completely ready for it's ride to the ranch.  This has been quite the process to get the hut down and we have been blessed to have several family members to help take this monster down. Now we will haul it up to the property and start getting the permits to put it back up. 

This time next year we will hopefully be living at the ranch.  We will hopefully have the horses there, and have the four goats and three of them will be pregnant.  The kids will be in school, getting ready for Christmas break that will be spent riding quads, watching for frostbite, and riding Blu.  We will probably have a lot of hot cocoa and have had a few dealings with the weather that cause us to be snowed in or rained in because of the dirt roads.  It will definitely be an adventure.

I wanted to give you an update before the holidays! We are very blessed by all that God has given us, and very blessed from all that He has also withheld.  I am amazed daily by His blessings.  May His blessings also pour out on you especially during this Holiday Season!  Merry Christmas!

Country Momma

Learning Stuff

My DH has taken the 10,000 gallon water tank up to the property. It was a definite journey since he took double the time to drive to the property with his giant "Oversize Load" signs on his suburban with various flags. He left at 1am so he wouldn't hold up any traffic and be as least amount of a nuisance to others as possible. It was incredible to say the least. To give you an idea of the size of this you can see in the attached picture that this is a 650 Case backhoe, a regular suburban and the black circle, that is the water container that the backhoe just pushed off the back of the trailer.

Now we have also gotten a new goat. Mister Dashell was found on craigslist, where else? However, I noticed a cough when we got him. We thought, with the rain lately he probably has a little bit of a cold, no big deal it's not like he was a baby goat the owner's said he was ten weeks old. The next day he was worse, so I took him to the vet. The vet takes one look and says, "He's not 10 weeks, no way. He's 3 weeks old tops." (We learned that horn growth says a lot about the goat's age, let alone the umbilical cord was still attached!) Also, Dashell has pneumonia and since he is sickly he has no fat or muscle on him and we have to give him two sub-cutaneous injections a day. My DH does this while I hold him still. It's a whole new world. We were going to breed Dashell with our other goats but since he has started his life so sickly we have decided against it. He will be a wethered (fixed) male and will run with the does as soon as he gets well. We have another two weeks of antibiotic injections. Here is our loving little Dashell...he's great at taking his meds, and in the second picture he has his butt in the air like a dog and his tail is wagging back and forth. He is a LOVE!

Through this we learned that we have to separate sick goats. Dashell also has two parasites that we have to treat the other goats for because we didn't separate him from the start.  Lessons learned.  We are also realizing that it will be good to have a stock of dewormer and other animal supplements available on the property since we will be no where close to a veterinarian. We are researching all the things we will need on hand keeping close mind to expiration dates, storage requirements and anything else that we need to know.

Some added goat pictures. Here's our three girls, Abby, Bailey and Capri. Abby is the most friendliest and the other two are warming up! First pic is Abby and Bailey getting into the hay, the second pic is them leaving the hay after getting in trouble. :)  Then Miss Capri who is the prissiest goat, and then a pic of what we usually see them doing, grazing and hanging out side by side.

I am also doing other research to find out more about meal planning, gardening, storage for all of it.  I've looked into canning, but it looks like a lot of work. I have fallen in love with Pinterest and all of the ideas that it offers, I've just got to put it into practice. I'm trying to start freezing meals, but I am wondering if I'm going to need another freezer. I'll post a picture of my freezer after I start this process. What a process!

Currently we are taking down a quonset hut that we have purchased (from craigslist). This building is 25 feet wide and 70 feet long. This is going to be a temporary living quarters at the property. One more week and the hut should be disassembled and we will hopefully be beginning it's transport to the ranch in September.

There's a little update from this Country Momma!
From Raising Faith Ranch! (We named the ranch!!)